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Old 09-27-2010, 02:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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What is your fav Chuck Norris line?

Mine is Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee not because of ancestry, it's because he ate a Cherokee indian.
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Old 09-27-2010, 04:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he says "2 seconds till" After you ask "till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face
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Old 09-27-2010, 04:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Chuck norris was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands!....lol
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Old 09-27-2010, 04:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

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Chuck Norris can divide by zero
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Old 09-27-2010, 05:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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When Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean...he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd.
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Old 09-27-2010, 05:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
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Old 09-27-2010, 05:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.
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Old 09-27-2010, 06:34 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the universe into existance.
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Old 09-27-2010, 07:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
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  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
  • When the Boogieman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Old 09-27-2010, 09:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris does not mow the grass. He intimidates the grass into not growing.
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Old 09-27-2010, 09:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris Likes To Kill Time, With his bare hands.
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Old 09-27-2010, 10:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
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chuck norris is not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of chuck norris
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Old 09-27-2010, 10:20 PM   #13 (permalink)
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Old 09-28-2010, 04:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris isn't a man, man is Chuck Norris.
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Old 09-28-2010, 05:13 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all-time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of jail free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green No.4 Uno card.
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