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Old 09-17-2009, 02:03 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Honestly, this child is beyond punishment. Believe me I know, my nephew has the same issues. He has all this bottled up rage from a very poor upbringing. Once the damage is done, he needs councelling and long term care. My nephew lives at his "school". But an outpatient situation would be ok if the parents are determined to work with them, and there are no other children in the home. Since my nephew has 3 younger siblings, they feared he would get angry one day and hurt them. He is a sweet and smart child, then a switch gets flipped, for seemingly no reason, and the hamster he loved gets stabbed. She has locks on every drawer, and he is not allowed any toys with weapons or violent video games, but when he goes to the neighbors house or does things normal kids do (go to parties etc) he sees games and toys that are violent. He got a knife somehow, not sure how, maybe took it out of the dishwasher while it was running, and hid it for later, and thats how he killed the hamster. But when you see him with animals, you can tell he loves them. It's very sad, and honestly Shana this child will either end up as a patient or an inmate. Those parents need a wakeup. What do the teachers say? Maybe they could get involved?
Up until this year he was a shining star at school... now he's starting to get violent with the other children. I know he's probably going to end up as either one of them if not dead by messing with another wrong individual.


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In a child, it is called Conduct Disorder. You must establish that someone had Conduct Disorder as a child to diagnose them as an adult with Antisocial Personality Disorder. The first question you ask the adult patient with suspected APD is if they ever tortured animals as a child.

Sociopath is not a clinical diagnosis, but it is a term that is commonly used to describe someone who is both Antisocial and Narcissistic. If you mix these two with a high IQ, then you are dealing with a dangerous individual.

You can not "beat" someone with CD or APD into caring. These people have an extremely high pain threshold. You cannot make them care about other living things. The fact that other's feel and deserve the same respect that they give themselves is outside their relm of thought. You cannot teach empathy.

Some psychologists believe that there is a very small window in early childhood where children are taught that others have feelings can feel the same things you do. Other psychologists believe that empathy is a trait you are either born with or without. Either way, once children or adults are showing the traits that you are describing, it is too late.

There really is no way to make the child care that they are hurting someone else or an animal. The only way to make them stop is to show them that it benifits them in some way. They only care about themself. They must learn that when they cause harm to others, there will be severe consequences. The only way to avoid these consequences is to not harm other living creatures. Again, you have to phrase it in a way that benifits them. You cannot tell them, "You hurt Grandma when you hit her." They don't care that they hurt grandma. They cannot understand that grandma has feelings. You have to phrase it in a way that benifits them. Such as, "When you hit Grandma, you only hurt yourself. Now, you are not allowed to...." There really isn't much in this world that they couldn't live without. They do not form attachments the same way others do. So, you may not really be punishing them by taking away games or other objects. You can take away their freedom, but you have to be very firm. They are manipulative and will play on any weakness that you show.

Do not leave this child alone with animals, younger siblings, or other children with lower IQ's. Get them into counseling ASAP.
Great post Betty! This is exactly how we have to handle situations... if he gets punished for hurting grandma he just gets angry, but if we tell him that he won't get mc donalds because of his incident he's extremely apologetic.
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Old 09-17-2009, 02:41 AM   #47 (permalink)
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He really does need counseling.
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:12 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Shana the child needs help. If you are in the position to help then you should. I would enroll in him a Tae Kwon Do class or some other activity that has structure to it. Not a boys and girls club as they have no direction at thse places. You could see about a club through a local church too. He is 7 and can be helped but he is looking for attention and doesn't know how to go about getting it so he is acting out in the wrong way. When you see him hitting someone tell him NOT to do it again. If you have to make him sit in a time out. Complete ignore him when he acts that way and tell him time out. Explain to him that nice people will be addressed and naught people are ignored. I would take it upon myself to talk to his teacher and she if she has any insight. You are as much responisble as his parents as you see what they don't.

I wish I had of been older when my nephew was acting out. I was only 2yrs older and couldn't help the way I should have.



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