If you get captured by pirates..Kill yourself..
Once upon a time there was an airplane that crashed on an island, there was only three survivors. So they went to the shore of an island, they wandered around for hours until they were captured by pirates. The pirates responded " ARGH MATEY WHERE ARE YA FROM?!?! WHO ARE YA?!?! WHAT DO YA WANT!?!?" the survivors responded " WE ARE JUST TRYING TO GET HOME" so the pirate told them " ARGH MATEY WE WILL KILL YA WHERE YOU STAND!!! UNLESS YOU THREE GO OUT AND GET ME 3 DIFFERENT TYPES OF FRUITS FROM THE ISLAND ARGHHHH!" So the survivors went out to search for fruits, the first survivor came back with an apple. Then the pirate said " ARGH YOU THINK YER DONE?! NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO SHUB IT UP YER BOOTAY!! WITHOUT MAKING A FACIAL EXPRESSION ARGH!!!" So the survivor tried to shub it up his butt....but he cried, so the pirates chopped his head off......10 minutes later, the second survivor came by with some grapes, the pirates told him the same thing they told the first person, he tried to shub it up his butt, then he laughed, so they chopped his head off.....so they both went to heaven and the 1st survivor asked the second survivor " Hey...what was so funny? why did you laugh? you could have survived!!" and the second survivor responded " BECAUSE THE THIRD SURVIVOR WAS COMING WITH A WATERMELON HAHAHAHA "