Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
When the Boogieman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all-time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of jail free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green No.4 Uno card.